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Rant: Feeling Blue




Rod: May I remind you that you aren’t exactly a hairy being yourself.

Barry: But you don’t have what the Doctor had

Rod: Manhattan wasn’t a hairy earth ape either.

Barry: You’re ignoring me.

Rod: Which isn’t hard to do

Barry: Ignore me all you want, you are missing a certain thing that made the chicks go wild

Rod: No I don’t. I’m a perfect specimen of our race

Barry: Only if perfection is the label on the rejects bin.

Rod: Nice! Do you write your own material?

Barry: Rod, please listen to me. There is one key thing that Dr. Manhatten had that women wanted.

Rod: And that was?

Barry: His muscles! The guy was RIPPED!

Rod: And what do you think I am, a 14 pound weakling?

Barry: More like 20 pounds.

Rod: I’ll show you who has muscles! <Tries to move arms but fails> Ah, I can’t move.

Barry: What do you mean?

Rod: My arms are stuck to my body.

Barry: What did you use to dye yourself?

Rod: Well, there was no body dye available for our type of skin so….

Barry: So……?

Rod: I used outdoor latex paint.

Barry: Well, I have good news and bad news.

Rod: Okay, good news first.

Barry: Okay. I can fix your problem

Rod: What’s the bad news?

Barry: I’ve got to peel all that paint off you and it’s going to really hurt.

<Supreme Overlord reaches for popcorn and drink from samples Rod and Barry have sent her while watching this on her monitor.>

Supreme Overlord: This is gonna be good!


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Rod & Barry Plush Set