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Rant: Trek Dues

Rod: Wait…let’s look at this logically.

Barry: Hey, just because you are sporting The Spock right now does not mean you can really USE logic!

Rod: Anyway…I have an idea. First, look at yourself. That’s a female hair style.

Barry: So? I’ve seen lots of guys with long, flowing hair.

Rod: Yea, but have you ever seen one with a beehive?

Barry: Um…well…

Rod: Enough said. So, the first thing we need to do is eliminate styles that are definitely for girls.

Barry: Ok, they are off the list.

Rod: Then, I’m thinking that styles from the 60s are probably a bit dated, so we should remove those.

Barry: But, but…I guess you’re right. Besides, the really good styles are still in style, because they are so stylish and girls like guys with style, and we don’t have style yet but…

Rod: Enough! Now, we have eliminated all of the TOS characters. Moving on…

Barry: Hey, what about this?

<<Barry ducks into the bathroom, and comes out after a few minutes.>>

Rod: What? Somehow, I don’t think so.

Barry: You don’t like The Worf?

Rod: If you were a Klingon, maybe, but you just look like a girl with that braid, and without the ridges, you just look silly.

Barry: Ok…I’ll mark all Klingons off the list.

Rod: See, we’re narrowing down the list of styles that we have to try. Then, it won’t take us so long to find styles that are right for us.

Barry: I’m still not sure what hair styles girls find attractive. We know they liked Kirk, but we’ve taken him off the list. Riker got lots of women.

Rod: Yea, put a star by that one as one we should try, but it’s kinda plain.

Barry: Chakotay did pretty good with the ladies.

Rod: Yea, but that was all about the tattoo. I don’t think I want to go that far.

Barry: True. You know, there is one style that I have heard girls say they think is sexy, but I’m not sure we want to do it…

Rod: What? Is it like one of the characters?

Barry: Yea, a couple of them had this style, and they got the girl sometimes.

Rod: Well, don’t just stand there…go change to that style and show me.

Barry: I don’t know…

Rod: I said go!

<<Barry goes back into the bathroom, and returns a few minutes later.>>

Rod: Barry, what have you done! Do you realize how stupid that was?

Barry: I tried to tell you. The Picard just does not work for us.

Rod: Aaaauuuuuggggghhhhh!

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