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Rant: Binary Code

Rod: Ok, genius…what makes something a romance language?

Barry: The words have to have a flow to them. They have to sound like a beautiful flower.

Rod: How can words sound like a flower? You’re talking nonsense.

Barry: No, you were talking nonsense to that woman when you tried to woo her with binary.

Rod: You think you can do better?

Barry: Naturally. And, you have to know the right language for the right girl.

Rod: What languages do you know?

Barry: Well, I have been studying a lot of them, but French and Italian are romance languages.

Rod: Is that what you’ve been doing, watching all those foreign films?

Barry: Yea…you can get some great pickup lines that way.

Rod: But, how do you know what you’re saying?

Barry: If you watch the movie, you can see how the girls react. Just remember, don’t use Japanese monster movies.

Rod: How come? Those are my favorite!

Barry: Knowing you, instead of telling a girl how pretty her eyes are, you’d tell her she looked like Godzilla or something.

Rod: Actually, some of the girls we see in this place would fit that description.

Barry: Maybe, but you don’t want them to start acting like Godzilla.

Rod: True, true. So, are you going to show me how it’s done, Mr. Ladies Man?

Barry: Sure. You pick out a girl, and I’ll sweet talk her into going home with me.

Rod: No, I’ll let you pick. You’ll have an advantage, but you’ll still fail.

Barry: Ok, that one at that table over there looks like a good one. I know just the language to use for her.

Rod: Are you sure? She looks kinda familiar…didn’t she turn me down last week?

Barry: I don’t know, but I just have a feeling about her. Just watch.

<<Barry walks over to a woman who looks amazingly like Zoe Saldana. They talk for a few minutes, drawing stares from others because no one else understands what they are saying. A little while later, Barry takes her arm and leads her towards the door, pausing at the bar where Rod sits, jaw dropping. As they leave, Barry has one word for Rod.>>

Barry: Qapla’!

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