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Rant: G.I. Joe


Rod: Barry, you have to remember that Gomer Pyle was a comedy. G.I. Joe is a drama, so they go for a different look.

Barry: I don’t know about that comedy part. When Sgt. Carter started yelling at Gomer, he was not going for laughs.

Rod: No, you are missing the point. He yelled, but it was Gomer’s grinning that got the laughs.

Barry: Well, that’s a subject for another day.

Rod: Agreed. Back to G.I. Joe, I’m really impressed with the high standards the military has now.

Barry: Wait a minute…..Rod, are you saying that G.I. Joe is a historical drama.

Rod: Of course not.

Barry: Well, that’s a relief….

Rod: It’s a docudrama.

Barry: <slaps head with hand> Not again! Rod, that movie was a drama, a piece of fiction.

Rod: You mean, Earth soldiers don’t have those suits and weapons?

Barry: If they do, they would not tell us, now would they?

Rod: I’ll have to give you that one.

Barry: And those other movies about the military are all fictions also.

Rod: You mean Larry the Cable Guy isn’t in the military?

Barry: Of course not!

Rod: And Major Payne wasn’t real?

Barry: Nope.

Rod: And Lloyd Bridges didn’t really have a sword fight with Saddam years ago?

Barry: I’m afraid not.

Rod: And Bill Murray and Harold Ramis didn’t fight with the army in a super RV?

Barry: No, Rod, all of those were fiction.

Rod: This is discouraging.

Barry: Why?

Rod: I thought Earth would be tough to conquer with fighters like that.

Barry: If G.I. Joe was real, it would be really tough.

Rod: Where did the idea for G.I. Joe come from?

Barry: From an Earth toy.

Rod: A toy? How can that be?

Barry: Human children had little soldiers back in the 1960’s. They were regular soldiers.

Rod: How did it get from there to what we saw in the theater?

Barry: Well, a few years ago, a cartoon show was made about the figures. In that show, they had lots of fancy weapons and started fighting the group they fight in the movie, Cobra.

Rod: And none of them were real?

Barry: Well, yes and no. Most of them weren’t real, but there was one character who was added to G.I. Joe because he was so tough in pro wrestling named Sgt. Slaughter.

Rod: And being in pro wrestling makes him real?

Barry: Good point.

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