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Rant – Mystique


Rod: Hey, you did it last time!

Barry: Oops! You are right. Sorry about that.

Rod: But it would be a perfect IDIC…..

Barry: Not really. It would have one thing that kept it from being perfect.

Rod: And what is that , oh all knowing of the Universe?

Barry: You would be in every combination. There goes perfect out the airlock.

Rod: You’re just jealous.

Barry: No way. I’ve seen on TV too many instances of a perfect woman and it was almost disaster for the man.

Rod: Okay, name me a couple of instances.

Barry: Okay to mix genres?

Rod: Go for it.

Barry: The first one is from the Star Trek episode, Turnabout Intruder.

Rod: Are you talking about when Kirk was transferred into Janice Lester’s body?

Barry: Yeah. That was a perfect combination for disaster.

Rod: That was nothing near Mystique, but I do agree that it was a disaster.

Barry: Yeah, Kirk’s body with a woman inside? Scary stuff there!

Rod: <shudder> Tell me about it.

Barry: My other example is from the very first Star Trek, The Cage.

Rod: Are you talking about the girl that could be any girl Captain Pike wanted?

Barry: That’s the one.

Rod: Mystique is better than that. That girl still looked like the original one. Mystique looks like a totally different woman.

Barry: Besides, Mystique could beat the tar out of those big headed aliens with both arms tied up.

Rod: Ah…..Barry…..have you looked in the mirror of late? We are big headed aliens on this world.

Barry: I keep forgetting that.

Rod: Wait a minute, you gave me an idea. I’ll hire her as a bodyguard! That will get me my chance.

Barry: It will give you a chance alright…..a chance to see her laugh her head off when she sees the body she’s guarding.

Rod: Why do you say that?

Barry: Because she will be guarding someone who looks like and thinks like a dumbbell.

Rod: Like you’d ever have a chance with her.

Barry: Yes, I would. We have a very special bond.

Rod: And what is that?

Barry: <grabs a mouseketeer hat and puts it on his head) We are one with the Mouse.

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