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Rant – Naughty or Nice


Barry: And why do you say it’s baloney?

Rod: Come on, Barry. You’ve got to be kidding me, right?

Barry: No, I’m dead serious. Why do you think it’s baloney?

Rod: Because no human on this rock has any of the powers needed to know if everyone is naughty or nice. It would take a super human.

Barry: And you know that Santa is not a super human because?

Rod: (rapping on Barry’s forehead> Think Barry, THINK! Have you met anyone here that is clairvoyant?

Barry: Not yet, but it doesn’t mean that there is not…..

Rod: And if you haven’t, what are the odds that you will find someone that is?

Barry: There are always possibilities. Why do you believe in flying reindeer?

Rod: Because evolution may have advanced further with reindeer that other lifeforms, giving them the power of flight.

Barry: While the odds are astronomical against that, I’ll give you that one for the time being. But there are other ways Santa can know who’s naughty or nice?

Rod: And how is that?

Barry: Let me show you something <reaches over and types into the computer, bringing up a song lyric>.

Rod: <reading out loud> “….he’s the secret head of the CIA.” Are you trying to tell me that it’s a government conspiracy?

Barry: No, but I’m saying that if he can make reindeer fly, he could be a master spy.

Rod: A master spy, dressed in a red suit and a beard? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Barry: He could have agents anywhere. Read this line.

Rod: <reading out loud> “Where’s Rudolph? He’s on a stakeout at your house.”

Barry: That’s right, he could be outside watching us right now.

Rod: A master spy in a red suit, with reindeer as spies? Barry, you are too much.

<Outside, a furry figure with antlers wearing a headset is talking>

Rudolph: Light Bulb to Red Suit….Light Bulb to Red Suit……Boss, you have GOT to check these guys out!



Quoted song lyrics are from “Santa Claus is Watching You” by Ray Stevens

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