Rant – Tailgating
Rod: Maybe we are doing something wrong.
Barry: That’s possible. Let’s run down the checklist.
Rod: Okay. Hamburgers, Hot Dogs, Brats….
Barry: Check, check, double check.
Rod: Fire is at the proper temperature….
Barry: Verified.
Rod: Meat is not being burnt?
Barry: Confirmed.
Rod: Okay, I’m totally stumped.
Barry: I have an idea. The humans were talking about the game. Maybe that is what we are doing wrong.
Rod: Okay, let’s talk about the game. Why do they call it the Super Bowl?
Barry: Because it is the game that decides the world championship of football.
Rod: That is where I get lost….what is football?
Barry: Well, according to the historical…..
Rod: Stop right there! How do you know they are historical?
Barry: They came from the NFL which runs professional football.
Rod: Okay, that’s good enough for me.
Barry: The recording say that it is a game between two teams of men. They fight to carry a very odd shaped ball, called the football, across a field from one end to the other. If they do, they get points. The game is timed and after one hour, the team with the most points wins.
Rod: One hour my foot! If the game is one hour, why does it take two to three hours?
Barry: Because they only count the time that the ball is actually in play.
Rod: I’m totally confused.
Barry: Tell you what, let me play you this historical audio recording about one fellow’s first football game. Maybe it will help.
Rod: I’ll try anything to understand this game.
<The boys listen to the six minute recording>
Rod: I know what we are doing wrong! Be right back.
Barry: <muttering> What is he doing?
<Rod returns with two large mugs filled with liquid>
Rod: I realized what was wrong. We have something to eat here. We have the TV where we can watch the men fight over that funny looking pumpkin, while the convicts are blowing their whistles, but we are missing one important thing.
Barry: What is that?
Rod: <handing Barry a mug> big orange drinks!
Barry: You’re right!
Rod: We need to have a toast. What should we toast?
Barry: Not a what, but who. How about the guy who’s recording helped us understand Football.
Rod: Agreed
Rod and Barry: Here’s to you, Andy Griffith!
Readers, what did we listen to that explained football? Click here to hear it for yourself.
R&B