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Rant: Survivor


Rod: Just a few insect bites? Is that what Earth people call danger?

Barry: People are in more danger making a horror movie than this!

Rod: Heck, they are in more danger walking down a typical street.

Barry: And people call this Earth show, Survivor. That other network’s show was more dangerous than this!

Rod: Are you talking about I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here?

Barry: Yeah! That show was so bad that celebrities were quitting instead of waiting to be voted off!

Rod: Hey, it lived up to it’s title!

Barry: Remember that reality show, The Mole?

Rod: Yeah! I kept watching for a small creature digging holes in the ground, according to Earth research books. I didn’t see that ending coming.

Barry: Agreed! Earth people do strange things with their language. I mean having a word mean a small creature and a sneaky human.

Rod: Dancing with the Stars is more dangerous. People get injured just dancing on that one!

Barry: Do you know what really gets me? Someone comes up with a good reality show and the network kills it.

Rod: Are you talking about Who Wants to Be a Superhero?

Barry: Yeah! People were playing super heroes they created and Stan Lee picked the best one. That was more believable than Survivor.

Rod: This is nothing like what we had at home!

Barry: Oh, yeah! Remember that show the Supreme Overlord had with the winner getting a promotion?

Rod: Yeah! Now, that was exciting entertainment!

Barry: Contestants would be put in a pit with a creature and the rules were simple: survive or be lunch.

Rod: And then there was the survivalist challenge, where the contestant had so much time to get into his protective gear before the swarm of insects were released.

Barry: And don’t forget what happened if the Supreme Overlord ordered you off the ship.

Rod: I remember! She escorted the person to the airlock, closed it, and then opened the outer door.

Rod: Yeah! Now THAT was entertainment!

Barry: Why don’t they do that one any more?

Rod: Well, what she did right there seemed to scare folks off, even if they wanted a promotion.

Barry: Why is that?

Rod: She kept forgetting to give them spacesuits before they went into the airlock.

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