Rant – Finding Santa
Rod: You keep up this doubting and unbelief and Santa will pass us over!
Barry: What do you mean by that?
Rod: You apparently didn’t do enough research. Santa only gives gifts to good boys and girls who believe in him.
Barry: I didn’t say I didn’t believe in him….
Rod: But you compared him to hookers and valley girls!
Barry: No I did not. I asked if YOU had read about those instead of Santa.
Rod: Barry….I don’t think about females all the time.
Barry: No, just every five minutes instead of every minute. You have improved.
Rod: There you go, trying to get me into trouble with Santa again.
Barry: Okay, so Santa is supposedly at malls and street corners. What is he doing?
Rod: At the malls, he is talking to the kids, getting their lists. On the street corners, he is collecting money for charity for people who can’t afford Christmas food and gifts.
Barry: Collecting money? Why doesn’t he fix the problem himself if he can do all the things you say?
Rod: Because he is teaching everyone to give and help others themselves.
Barry: Oh brother! First it was the cult of Mickey. Have you deserted him to serve Santa instead?
Rod: I am still one with the Mouse. Even he believes and supports Santa.
Barry: I had to ask……
Rod: The Mouse appears with Santa every year on TV.
Barry: Okay, enough with the Mouse. One other question….in this picture <clicks mouse on computer> there are more than one Santa. Explain that if there is one Santa.
Rod: Look, Santa is a very busy guy at this time of year. He has trained helpers to aid him to get the job done while he is at the North Pole, getting ready for his big trip on December 24th.
Barry: How do these helpers communicate with Santa?
Rod: Reindeer mail?
Barry: First the reindeer were spies and now they are mail carriers? Let’s get ready and get out there hunting for him before……
Rod: Before what?
Barry: Before I go crazy and need help myself.
Rod: Help you how?
Barry: Help keeping me from braining you!!!