Strip 369: Magic
May 20 | 2011 | Strip 369: Magic
Updates Tuesdays

<The Visiphone goes dark.>

Rod: We are so dead!

Barry: Where do you get that we, pal? You are the one who refused to answer first.

Rod: But you did also!

Barry: You’re right, we are both so dead.

Rod: I know we are. This isn’t our usual cell.

Barry: What makes you say that?

Rod: Two things: (1) the color of the walls and (2) the fact that she has a monitor in here to watch us.

Barry: Are you saying she wants to watch us suffer?

Rod: Is the value of Pi 3.141592653589793238462643383279502…..

Barry: I take the hint!!!

Rod: I thought we were going to get it for Olivia.

Barry: SHHH!! She’ll hear you.

Rod: You’re right, sorry.

Barry: Now, what do we have to do to get out of this?

Rod: We could still give her that signed headshot of Kevin Pereira…

Barry: And I told you what would happen if we did that!

Rod: True….

Barry: We could tell her we were preparing the Earth for destruction….

Rod: And how were we doing that?

Barry: By preparing to go after a new target. Since our efforts with Olivia didn’t work out, we were going to get Blair to help us.

Rod: That’s the worse part of this. We can’t watch Blair in here!

Barry: Have you got that Earth device called a Blackberry with you?

Rod: Yeah, but how will that help?

Barry: You can follow her on her Twitter account.

Rod: That’s right. Thanks, buddy! I owe you one.

Barry: You can repay me by telling me what she’s saying. You aren’t the only one going through Blair Butler withdrawal!

Rod: Snake Plissken was right, “The more things change……”

Barry: What do you mean fun? What are their practical use for you?

Rod: What do you mean by that?

Barry: Just what I said. What would be their purpose and fun doesn’t cut it.

Rod: Well, if I fall forward, they would be a great cushion for hitting the ground…

Barry: Till your head went forward and you cracked it…..but who could tell the difference.

Rod: Very funny, fuzzy head!

Barry: Okay, what else?

Rod: If we went on a boat and I got thrown overboard, they would be a great flotation device.

Barry: Wait! You are not thinking!

Rod: What do you mean?

Barry: If you get on a boat, it sails away from land, right?

Rod: Yeah….

Barry: And it sails on what?

Rod: YIPES! Thanks for reminding me.

Barry: Don’t mention it.

Rod: Believe me, I won’t.

Barry: Okay, so you are going to lose the boobs?

Rod: Can I at least keep the hair?

Barry: Only if you let me keep mine.

Rod: Forget that idea, porcupine!

Supreme Overlord: In your cases, the Supreme Judge, Jury, and Executioner!

Rod: ah……ah…….ah……

Barry: (whispers to Rod) What do we do now?

Rod: (whispering) Think fast and talk faster!

Barry: Your Supremeness, to what do we owe this pleasure?

Supreme Overlord: Oh, it will be MY pleasure when I deal with you two idiots personally!

Barry: (whispering) I TOLD you we were going to get in trouble.

Rod: (whispering) But you said it would be with the planet’s authorities, not HER!

Barry: (whispering) No, I said we’d get in trouble, period. You are the one that didn’t think she’d find out.

Rod: (whispering) I know, I know, I KNOW!

Barry: But your Supreme Greatness! We are spreading the word of your majesty!

Supreme Overlord: Who do you think you are talking to? I know what you two are doing and WHY!

Barry: But Your Greatness…….

Supreme Overlord: Don’t “Your Greatness” me, pipsqueak! You are both doing this over your crush on an Earth woman………..AN EARTH WOMAN!!!

Rod: (whispering) We are so DEAD!

Barry: (whispering) And what was your first clue?

Rod: Cut the feed!

Show Producer: We can’t. Something has taken over the system.

Rod: (whispering) Now what?

Barry: (whispering) I’ve got it! I remember what humans do when things like this happen on live television.

Rod: (whispering) I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

<Continued in Tuesday’s strip>

Rod: We’ll be back for our Quantum Mechanics discussion after this break.

Barry: Sorry! Was trying to make some geek humor.

Rod: No humor was there, just like the space that is supposed to house your brain.

Barry: No brain in my head? Look who is talking!!!

Rod: And what do you mean by that crack?

Barry: You are on an Earth television show, talking about destroying the planet!

Rod: And the only people watching this will just think it is a sci-fi episode of the show.

Barry: Yeah. Just keep telling yourself those delusions!

Rod: Delusions? Just think! Who usually watching these shows?

Barry: Gamers, sci-fi fans, and geeks!

Rod: And would they believe that they have been invaded?

Barry: If they did, they would think it was cool!

Rod: Exactly! We are having fun at their expense.

Barry: It will be at our expense before long.

Rod: And what makes you say that, laser for brains?

Barry: This is an Earth television show, right?

Rod: Yeah…..

Barry: And that little red light means that we have been on the air the last few minutes while we’ve been talking.

Rod: Yeah….

Barry: And this show is beamed up to a satellite, correct?

Rod: Yeah……

Barry: And we both know that Earth satellite signals are receivable on our planet……..

Rod: <nervously> Uh oh………

<On Rod and Barry’s home planet, someone is watching this discussion on her monitor>

Supreme Overlord: What in the name of Talos IV are those two idiots doing???????

Rod: Sorry, pal. As they say on Earth, “First come, first served.”

Barry: But why do you always get to be the fun characters?

Rod: I do not!

Barry: Yes you do!

Rod: Prove it!

Barry: In the Watchgeeks wallpaper, you got to be Rorschach!

Rod: But in the “Harry Potter” spoof wallpaper, YOU got to be Harry!

Barry: Okay, I’ll give you that one.

Rod: Thank you.

Barry: But why do YOU get to be Olivia?

Rod: Because of my natural charm…

Barry: Yeah, right….

Rod: My ability to be anyone I wish…..

Barry: Suuuuure……

Rod: And I’ve got great taste in Earth clothing.

Barry: Do you have a fever when you tell that many lies?

Rod: And the fact that putting them under our control was my idea.

Barry: Don’t remind me. We are going to be in so much trouble over this.

Rod: Do you do anything besides worry?

Barry: Okay, so you are going to be Olivia. Now we just have to get you an appropriate dress and some makeup.

Rod: Wait, dress like a girl? Maybe I should rethink this…

Barry: Nope! Too late! I’m going to make you look SO girlie…

Rod: Wait! You tricked me! That’s not fair!

Barry: Well, as they say on Earth, “Life is not always fair”. Hahahahaha!

Rod: Ok, you win. I think I saw what we need back that way…

<Story continues in Strip number 243, “Wardrobe”>

Rod & Barry Plush Set